Refraction
by serenphoria
Summary: Change is hard. For Kankuro, seeing it might be even harder. A Sand Sibs fic. / After the Sand-Sound invasion. Companion piece to 'Firelight.' /


**Summary:** Change is hard. For Kankuro, seeing it might be even harder. A Sand Sibs fic. [Post Sand-Sound invasion. Companion piece to 'Firelight.']

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**Refraction**

-'-

The hospital doors closed resolutely with a _thunk_, sending a whirl of dust around Kankuro's feet as he brushed the sand off his clothes. With a resigned sigh, he pulled his hood off and walked down the now familiar hall, nodding in acknowledgment as others greeted him awkwardly. His father, the Kazekage, was dead. Gaara, Suna's ultimate weapon, was in the hospital.

He came to a door at the end of the hall and carefully opened it. What he found made him catch his breath.

"Te-Temari!" he sputtered in a low voice. "What the hell are you doing?"

Temari turned her head slightly to look at Kankuro out of one eye, her hand steadily holding onto Gaara's own as he lay unconscious. "What?" she replied somewhat irritated, though her brows were pinched in curiosity. Somehow, her voice sounded several times louder in Kankuro's head than it actually was.

"What are you doing," he leaned forward and repeated in a harsh whisper, "_holding his hand_?" His eyes darted nervously between the two.

"It'll be okay," she replied. Kankuro thought that was a _terrible_ reason to die.

"Shit, Temari. What do you think's going to happen when he wakes up and finds you..._touching _him without his permission?"

She looked at him sternly as only a sister could. "Do you have to make everything sound dirty? I'm just letting him know we're here." Kankuro had a retort, but her determined, tired eyes kept him silent.

"It's just a little chakra exhaustion," he said after a moment, looking away. He didn't care if they both knew that that was an understatement. And he didn't add that he'd really rather not die due to her temporary lapse of sanity. They were both drained and stretched thin in every possible way in light of the failed invasion in Fire Country, not to mention the political upheaval their father's death caused. Even in jest, mentioning death and insanity just didn't seem like a good idea.

Temari was about to retort when when Gaara stirred. Kankuro watched as his sister froze, her hand slightly jerking as if she wanted to pull away. Then, Gaara slowly opened his eyes.

Gaara blinked up at Temari, registering her hand on his. Or maybe he didn't; for some reason Kankuro couldn't read him. Temari's body language, on the other hand, told him it was taking all of her self-control to stay still and not make any sudden movements, as if Gaara was a wild animal.

Kankuro couldn't help himself. He stepped back.

"Ha-hiya, Gaara," he said, forcing his lips up into a shaky smile. He didn't ask how he was feeling. "You've been out a few days."

Gaara turned his attention to Kankuro and just...looked at him.

Maybe that's what had Kankuro on edge. Gaara didn't look angry, or indifferent, or annoyed. Or, his favorite, _psycho_. Maybe confused? Shoot, now Kankuro was confused, but he was careful not to break eye-contact.

Finally, Gaara turned his attention to the ceiling and the three of them didn't say anything for a long time.

-'-

Kankuro didn't bother hiding how tense he was as he and Temari walked out of the hospital.

"It's okay, you know," Temari said, half condescending, half comforting. Kankuro swung around, agitated.

"I know it's his first time getting hurt, but he's still dangerous. He—" Kankuro looked away, searching for words that wouldn't come. _God, everything is so fucked up. _He huffed in frustration instead.

He could feel his sister regarding him silently, knowing that inside he was torn and confused and relieved and afraid and a whole mess of other things so muddled up he couldn't pick them out. He really didn't want to deal with all the crazy shit happening to the village; to him.

_To his family_.

He both hated and secretly glad that Temari knew.

"He—I think...things are going to change," she said in one of those rare, thoughtful moments, inarticulate as it was.

But right then, Kankuro just couldn't appreciate it. Change was not what he wanted to hear. Puppeteers needed to be in control and change was so...unpredictable. Lately, it felt as if a rug had been pulled from under him and he can't find solid footing.

"Things _have_ changed," he bit back. "In ca—"

_"—For the better,"_Temari finished. She used her _and-that's-final _voice and her scary sister-eyes again. Kankuro knew he had lost. He tugged his hood back on agitatedly and they continued to walk in silence.

"You noticed, right?" she said after a moment, her voice softening a bit.

"About Gaara?"

"Yeah."

"…Yeah."

Kankuro pulled his hands into his pockets and revisited a memory. "Just because he said 'thank you' doesn't mean anything. Things don't just change, you know."

His sister pulled on that smug expression of hers. "You know you just contradicted youself."

Kankuro snorted. "Yeah, well…just be careful."

"Yeah."

-'-

Kankuro scuffed his sandals against the gravelly sand as he walked, finding the grating sound and friction under his feet slightly comforting. It had been a few weeks since Gaara left the hospital and the three of them had settled into their new place, no longer children of the Kazekage. 'Settled,' of course, meaning that moments were awkward and cautious and strained and they each escaped to their own rooms for refuge. Gaara had been quiet...well, _quiet__er _than Kankuro was use to. It was not quite the menacing, unstable silence Kankuro usually associated with his brother, but if Gaara knew peace, it wasn't that either. Something was stewing underneath and Kankuro watched with wary eyes, not quite knowing what he was looking for.

He squinted into the dying dusk and watched Gaara's back, his red hair rustling slightly in the hot desert breeze. Temari's familiar presence was just within his peripheral vision. It had been another grueling day of meetings and logistics for the internal restructuring of Suna and he wanted nothing more than to collapse onto his bed and let gravity lull him to sleep. But no rest yet: everyone was tired and Gaara seemed especially irritable today. He—

Kankuro was suddenly jerked out of his thoughts by Gaara and a young boy crashing to the ground; a rubber ball rolled by the wayside.

"No, get away!" A woman came running and swept the boy into her arms. She staggered away, unable to look away from the demon vessel.

Gaara sat, eyes closed, his palm against his forehead. Sand swirled agitatedly around his feet.

The woman held her child closer to her trembling body, her breath quickening with dread.

Kankuro watched as Gaara opened his eyes, his brow furrowed in pain and anger. There it was: every parent's nightmare. That woman would never see another day after having seen that face. Without the decency of making eye-contact, Gaara shot his hand up and with it a wave of roaring sand.

It snaked up the woman's legs, her torso, and then filled her mouth with warm, suffocating gravel that stifled her screaming. The child, crying hysterically, struggled vainly to pull himself higher up his mother's torso, but the sand caught his legs and tightened around his body.

It all happened in an instant.

"Gaara, no!" Temari yelled, ready to run to his side. There was nothing she could do. There was nothing anyone could ever do when Gaara was in that state. All Kankuro and she could do was hope that their voices reached him. "Gaara, stop! These are Sand civilians!"

Kankuro gripped her shoulder. "It's pointless now, Temari," he said soberly.

Gaara twisted his hand and the sand packed tighter, but the sickening sound of cracking bones and squishy entrails never came. Brows still gathered, the demon vessel regarded the woman's glistening, frightened eyes with his cold, calculating ones. _Studying his prey. Drawing out the terror, bastard,_ Kankuro thought, checking to make sure the area was clear.

Dark, rimmed eyes clamped shut, teeth ground together in a snarl and fingers twitched.

Then, unexpectedly, the sand slackened and slinked away, leaving the woman and child in a heap, choking the sand out of their lungs. Gaara rose to his feet heavily.

"Teach your kid some manners," he said flatly to the trembling woman. "Let's go."

Without another word, the young shinobi moved away, leaving his siblings blinking behind him before they gathered their bearings and trotted along to catch up.

They walked in silence, the elder siblings stealing glances at one another. Kankuro couldn't make heads or tails of what he had just witnessed. Had Gaara _ever _pulled back after he decided to Desert Coffin someone? Was it possible that Temari's right? Was there hope for Gaara after all?

Kankuro broke the silence first.

"That was…um...decent of you, Gaara."

He was met with cold, ice-green eyes. "Shut up or I'll kill you."

Okay, maybe not.

But Kankuro noted that his spine _didn't_ shiver like it usually did to his psychotic brother's death threats. Whatever _that _was about.

Best not to question it.

"Got it."

He thought he caught Temari smiling.

**-'-**

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**Author's Note:** This is a companion piece to 'Firelight,' but both can stand alone. Your thoughts are most appreciated. A huge thanks to Eraya for beta-ing. Slight Edits (8/30/2010)


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